Storm
The clouds darken; the air, it stills
Can't you taste coming? It's nearly here.
But we still walk down a dusty road
Going nowhere.
Raindrops drip down on my head.
I yearn for our warm, soft blanket.
So I turn back to head inside
But you lay me down on a bed of dirt
And say good night.
Watching you walk away, I know the truth
There's nothing left that can be done
As the rain pours down.
I won't get up.
I just close my eyes
And sink into the mud.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
You walk alone on a dusty road
Headed home.
Say goodnight.
---
That was written back in early May. I came across it and decided I needed to post it.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Cutesy, Overly-Cliche Song I Wrote in Second Block
It needs a lot of work.
V1:
Under a night sky, we say goodbye
To the life we once knew
And here in your car, you shine like the stars
Never thought I'd ever have to miss you.
You were everything I'd been missing out on.
You were the only thing I could depend on.
Pre-Chorus:
On the day you found somebody else
You promised nothing would ever change. [It didn't.]
Even though left me by myself,
I still feel the same.
Chorus:
When you're here with me,
You're all I can see.
I always lose my breath when I'm pressed against your chest
Nothing needs to be said,
Cause it's all in my head.
When we both lose our minds, I'll still be by your side.
So don't worry about losing me.
I don't know how to leave
V2:
We fall apart, but we're still connected at the heart
Moving on is hard to do.
Though I am with him, I still feel your skin.
Never get a chance to tell you
That when you're sitting to me
I can still feel the chemistry.
Pre-Chorus 2:
On the day I found somebody else
I swore that my feelings had changed. [They didn't]
So I keep lying to myself,
Cause I still feel the same.
[Chorus]
You're standing right in front of me
But you're so far away.
I say I need more room to breathe
Can we do this another day?
You swear that you will never leave
You're begging me to stay.
You tell me that you need me
I wish I could just say.
[Chorus 2x]
Under a night sky, we say goodbye
To the lies we once knew.
And here in you arms, you shine like the stars.
Never thought I'd ever get to kiss you.
This is everything I'd been missing out on
This is the only thing I can depend on.
V1:
Under a night sky, we say goodbye
To the life we once knew
And here in your car, you shine like the stars
Never thought I'd ever have to miss you.
You were everything I'd been missing out on.
You were the only thing I could depend on.
Pre-Chorus:
On the day you found somebody else
You promised nothing would ever change. [It didn't.]
Even though left me by myself,
I still feel the same.
Chorus:
When you're here with me,
You're all I can see.
I always lose my breath when I'm pressed against your chest
Nothing needs to be said,
Cause it's all in my head.
When we both lose our minds, I'll still be by your side.
So don't worry about losing me.
I don't know how to leave
V2:
We fall apart, but we're still connected at the heart
Moving on is hard to do.
Though I am with him, I still feel your skin.
Never get a chance to tell you
That when you're sitting to me
I can still feel the chemistry.
Pre-Chorus 2:
On the day I found somebody else
I swore that my feelings had changed. [They didn't]
So I keep lying to myself,
Cause I still feel the same.
[Chorus]
You're standing right in front of me
But you're so far away.
I say I need more room to breathe
Can we do this another day?
You swear that you will never leave
You're begging me to stay.
You tell me that you need me
I wish I could just say.
[Chorus 2x]
Under a night sky, we say goodbye
To the lies we once knew.
And here in you arms, you shine like the stars.
Never thought I'd ever get to kiss you.
This is everything I'd been missing out on
This is the only thing I can depend on.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Random Poetry Written While I Should've Been Taking Algebra Notes
Today
You asked me if I missed youI said, "I do.
But not as much
As I miss your truck."
But just my luck.
For that smart remark to cost me
Getting you back.
Feed Me
Rumbling, grumbling,Pleading - "Please feed me!"
The stomach begins to growl
Its acid is churning,
Burning away its walls.
It screams and cries
"I'm going to die!
If you don't get some food
Down here some time soon!"
And who would believe
Underneath such a beautiful figure
Lives the saddest little stomach?
So, please feed the models.
[I was so hungry when I wrote that. XD]
Ghost
In my room, there's a ghostHe isn't that scary, but he still bugs me.
Cold, lifeless, without a form,
Floating and judging my every move.
I say "Go away, Mr. Ghost.
Everybody else has gotten on with their lives.
I don't need your haunting reminding me
Of who I used to be."
But the Ghost says nothing.
He just stays in the same place
Coldly reminding me of you
In my room.
Of Freedom and Blankets
I have blankets that smotherAnd swallow me up, softly,
Killing me inside.
I'd rather you not hold me.
Your strong arms will crush
The air out of my lungs.
But don't get me wrong, I do love you.
I just need my space.
Come Home! (I Miss You)
Like a helpless housewife,I stay up to all hours of the night,
Waiting for you to come home,
Hoping you'll be alright.
Though I know you don't care,
I'll still wait here,
Hoping you will come home
Before the break of day.
You never do.
--
I had Oh, Avalanche by Gregory and The Hawk stuck in my head while writing these so they probably have an odd beat to them.
On a related note, I'm still hungry and have No idea what we're going over in Algebra.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I Live To Let You Shine
"but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by"
-"Boats and Birds" by Gregory and The Hawk
I was under pressure, when I heard his lies.
I was head-heels deep, when we said goodbye.
Never breathed a word, locked it all away,
Vowed I'd take my locket to the grave.
And in the dark I left my locket rust.
Swore to God never again would I trust
The lies of men as they lie next to me
Begged the world to let me go free.
I was spinning out, needed something new.
I was losing hope, when I first met you.
Nearly lost my mind, talked the night away
Dusted off my locket, thought I'd never say.
Hard as I tried, I couldn't get it opened.
The words inside, felt like an explosion
Of hurt and pain, the feelings flowing out.
So I hid myself among my fear and self-doubt.
But you saw through it,
Tore the locket from my hands.
I screamed and cried,
But you wouldn't give it back.
You pulled and tugged,
Wouldn't stop until it broke.
The light poured out,
And you embraced the exposed.
--
Fuck.
I wish I were better at writing these. I hate how bad I am at getting the words out. I really need to find a better way to express myself.
Last night I really realized how I felt about something. I'm probably not going to talk about it on here or even write bad poetry about it. It's not a big deal. Let's just say that I might not have gotten what I wanted out of it, but instead, I got something priceless. For that, I'm very grateful. :3 And really I don't have any room to whine, recently my life has been going rather easy.
On a similar note, I also let go of something I've been holding onto for a very long time. It was unhealthy. I'd been misplacing the blame for a very long time, when really all that matters is that it happened and that I need to move on because everyone else has.
Note: the title/lyrics at the beginning have nothing to do with the poem. I just really love that song. A Wish is also an amazing song by them.
Music You Should Check Out:
-Gregory and the Hawk [band]
-The Hazards of Love [album] by The Decemberists
-Tegan and Sara [band]
-The Mario Kart Love Song. :3
-My Brightest Diamond [band]
-Eisley [band]
-The Dolly Song by Holly Dolly. XD
Nothing is Permanent. Everything is Temporary.
You sit down on a couch and are overwhelmed by an old familiar feeling. It's an exhaustion, the kind you can't get rid of by taking a nap. It's the crash after an all time high, the fall back to Earth, as you realize nothing ever lasts. Where did it go wrong? It seems only yesterday you were so happy. You look back and can barely even remember where it went right.
It starts with a "Hello, nice to meet you," and an embarrassing faux pas on your part. You always makes the worst first impressions. But you bounce back and begin talking. It turns into little inside jokes and "What's up?" texts. Suddenly, you're spending all your weekends together and staying up until the wee hours of the morning, revealing all your deepest hope and fears. Things you can't usually say come pouring out. And you realize that a trust, previously unknown to you, forms between you. That's when you take a big step back. There's no way that it can be real. You're moving too fast. You're allowing yourself to become closer to them than they are to you. Why would they like you? You're awkward and clingy and annoying. You try to avoid them, but just can't. And one day by an unfortunate slip of the tongue, it comes out. Their reply, "You shouldn't feel that way. You can trust me."
And there it is. Trust, for the first time in a long time. You care about each other. You respect each other. Is it love? No, never. It's just a friendship, one of the best, even. It's spontaneous and freeing. It's pure and the best thing you've ever felt. Even the little fights are beautiful. You're on cloud nine. There's no more insecurities, no more worrying about tomorrow. For the first time, you have been accepted by a group of people that you actually fit in with. In fact, every aspect of your life has improved. Your grades are better. You find it easier to be nicer to people. You've even lost weight and cleaned up your look. And you begin to actually believe that life is going to be like this from here on out.
But nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary.
In retrospect, the downfall had been in the making before it even began. Your parents sit you down and talk about how you're never home any more. They complain about having to take you places and then claim it would be inconsiderate to make someone else always pick you up. Your old friends make snide little comments about how you're never around any more, when they never wanted to hang out before. But you don't really mind. Sure you care what they think, but you're not going to let it stand in the way of the first time in your life that you've ever felt like you belonged. No, that's not what made it go wrong.
No, that job is yours. You've always been your own worst enemy. Trust never came easy to you. Eventually, things will get to you and break down. It's little things that will tear you apart. Those little comments they make that make you think "maybe they aren't that different." The doubts fester over time, and one day it explodes in your mind. You become convinced that they're not only better off without you, but are only friends with you out of some sort of pity. Because secretly they can't stand you.
You take a deep breath and reevaluate the situation because you know that's not true. They still care about you. There's no denying that that. They text you asking if you want to do something this weekend. You say you're busy. It's not a total lie, but you still could do something if you wanted. Still you lie, because it doesn't matter if whether they like you or not.
It's because I can't let you love me.
--
I wrote that awhile back ago. I got over it so I didn't post it. But I recently wrote a poem that this gives a little perspective to.
It starts with a "Hello, nice to meet you," and an embarrassing faux pas on your part. You always makes the worst first impressions. But you bounce back and begin talking. It turns into little inside jokes and "What's up?" texts. Suddenly, you're spending all your weekends together and staying up until the wee hours of the morning, revealing all your deepest hope and fears. Things you can't usually say come pouring out. And you realize that a trust, previously unknown to you, forms between you. That's when you take a big step back. There's no way that it can be real. You're moving too fast. You're allowing yourself to become closer to them than they are to you. Why would they like you? You're awkward and clingy and annoying. You try to avoid them, but just can't. And one day by an unfortunate slip of the tongue, it comes out. Their reply, "You shouldn't feel that way. You can trust me."
And there it is. Trust, for the first time in a long time. You care about each other. You respect each other. Is it love? No, never. It's just a friendship, one of the best, even. It's spontaneous and freeing. It's pure and the best thing you've ever felt. Even the little fights are beautiful. You're on cloud nine. There's no more insecurities, no more worrying about tomorrow. For the first time, you have been accepted by a group of people that you actually fit in with. In fact, every aspect of your life has improved. Your grades are better. You find it easier to be nicer to people. You've even lost weight and cleaned up your look. And you begin to actually believe that life is going to be like this from here on out.
But nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary.
In retrospect, the downfall had been in the making before it even began. Your parents sit you down and talk about how you're never home any more. They complain about having to take you places and then claim it would be inconsiderate to make someone else always pick you up. Your old friends make snide little comments about how you're never around any more, when they never wanted to hang out before. But you don't really mind. Sure you care what they think, but you're not going to let it stand in the way of the first time in your life that you've ever felt like you belonged. No, that's not what made it go wrong.
No, that job is yours. You've always been your own worst enemy. Trust never came easy to you. Eventually, things will get to you and break down. It's little things that will tear you apart. Those little comments they make that make you think "maybe they aren't that different." The doubts fester over time, and one day it explodes in your mind. You become convinced that they're not only better off without you, but are only friends with you out of some sort of pity. Because secretly they can't stand you.
You take a deep breath and reevaluate the situation because you know that's not true. They still care about you. There's no denying that that. They text you asking if you want to do something this weekend. You say you're busy. It's not a total lie, but you still could do something if you wanted. Still you lie, because it doesn't matter if whether they like you or not.
It's because I can't let you love me.
--
I wrote that awhile back ago. I got over it so I didn't post it. But I recently wrote a poem that this gives a little perspective to.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Written for Creative Writing. Freshman Year
Miss Autumn's my favorite.
"Oh, listen to the sound silence that fills
For endless time is standing so still here
I can see forever through these long hills
Stay ever close to me tonight my dear.
It is hard to say when I shall return
I know not if Fate is harsh, but know please
That every night I am away I'll yearn
For fair maiden whom angels call Louise."
This is what he told me before he went
To fight for our children to grow up free.
So many days I smiled thought I felt spent.
The men returned, but he, I couldn't see.
Then out from the crowd, the beautiful sight,
An angel with revolver came forward so bright.
Who killed Miss Autumn?
For that beautiful hair of auburn
Lays fallen on the floor.
To rise again nevermore
Was it Miss Summer, jealous of her smile?
Or was it Miss Spring, her bitter rival?
Oh but whom of these is the most bitter?
Why none other than Miss Winter!
For Winter must've strangled Autumn
With those hands cold as icicles become
Oh how could that cruel mistress end it all
How could someone watch end of Fall?
Teach me how
To live in a sea of black
Please crush my spirit
Make me like one of the pack
Teach me how
To tease timid little mice
With catty remarks my claws
I'll have no reason, I'm as cold as ice
Teach me how
To rage against my life
Make my happy thoughts
Turn to thoughts of toil and strife.
But ha! not me! I am alive
I don't wish to live to die
I live for today may be my last
No time to sulk, life goes to fast
I'll dance though the crowd may stare
I'll love the ones you desert
I'll sing even if all can hear
I'll live like it's Heaven on Earth
Her radiance shines and lights
Which ever room she graces.
And when the setting sun blazes
Through a window, it glorifies her might.
Then she greets the night:
The moonlight she embraces.
Dressed in a nightgown full of laces,
She is a precious sight.
With elegance, morning breaks,
Peeking through the window.
Slowly, Sleeping Beauty wakes
Next to a man with his voice so low.
Her dainty hands, his rough ones take.
They have forever for their love to grow.
Stealthy as a cat, creeping cross the floor,
He walks past his young wife sleeping like a dog.
To make his way to open the front door,
And as he does, he disappears into the fog.
With each step, his heart grew sadder
As he lived up to his fatal mistake.
She could not know of this matter
So he must look like a flake.
Through the fog, the church bell did ring.
So proud and true the sound!
Suddenly his foe with grace did spring!
The man fell silent upon the ground.
Now with each passing day, the young widow's heart grows sore.
For she will never know that his love for her shall grow forever more.
---
I had a flair for the dramatic. >.> We were going over Shakespeare in English at the time too.
Sonnet for a Soldier
"Oh, listen to the sound silence that fills
For endless time is standing so still here
I can see forever through these long hills
Stay ever close to me tonight my dear.
It is hard to say when I shall return
I know not if Fate is harsh, but know please
That every night I am away I'll yearn
For fair maiden whom angels call Louise."
This is what he told me before he went
To fight for our children to grow up free.
So many days I smiled thought I felt spent.
The men returned, but he, I couldn't see.
Then out from the crowd, the beautiful sight,
An angel with revolver came forward so bright.
Miss Autumn
Who killed Miss Autumn?
For that beautiful hair of auburn
Lays fallen on the floor.
To rise again nevermore
Was it Miss Summer, jealous of her smile?
Or was it Miss Spring, her bitter rival?
Oh but whom of these is the most bitter?
Why none other than Miss Winter!
For Winter must've strangled Autumn
With those hands cold as icicles become
Oh how could that cruel mistress end it all
How could someone watch end of Fall?
Repetitions
Teach me how
To live in a sea of black
Please crush my spirit
Make me like one of the pack
Teach me how
To tease timid little mice
With catty remarks my claws
I'll have no reason, I'm as cold as ice
Teach me how
To rage against my life
Make my happy thoughts
Turn to thoughts of toil and strife.
But ha! not me! I am alive
I don't wish to live to die
I live for today may be my last
No time to sulk, life goes to fast
I'll dance though the crowd may stare
I'll love the ones you desert
I'll sing even if all can hear
I'll live like it's Heaven on Earth
The Image of a Young Bride
Her radiance shines and lights
Which ever room she graces.
And when the setting sun blazes
Through a window, it glorifies her might.
Then she greets the night:
The moonlight she embraces.
Dressed in a nightgown full of laces,
She is a precious sight.
With elegance, morning breaks,
Peeking through the window.
Slowly, Sleeping Beauty wakes
Next to a man with his voice so low.
Her dainty hands, his rough ones take.
They have forever for their love to grow.
A Foggy Morning
Stealthy as a cat, creeping cross the floor,
He walks past his young wife sleeping like a dog.
To make his way to open the front door,
And as he does, he disappears into the fog.
With each step, his heart grew sadder
As he lived up to his fatal mistake.
She could not know of this matter
So he must look like a flake.
Through the fog, the church bell did ring.
So proud and true the sound!
Suddenly his foe with grace did spring!
The man fell silent upon the ground.
Now with each passing day, the young widow's heart grows sore.
For she will never know that his love for her shall grow forever more.
---
I had a flair for the dramatic. >.> We were going over Shakespeare in English at the time too.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Where The Hell is This Coming From?
In The Isolation Chamber
There's a girl inside
A dirty cage, she sighs.
She's a lonely one.
Her past can't be undone.
With no one to witness, she cries.
With no one, alone, she'll die.
Broken spirit of another starlet torn.
Broken hearted for this moment she has longed
For the spirit of another so she can leave.
Here, the broken are screaming to be set free.
Won't you please save me?
Lies of treasures never known.
The aching and the breaking
Until you have nothing more.
A promise of acceptance
How do they know that's
All you want?
There's a girl inside
A dirty world. She writes
Of the hope she still holds
As her future slowly unfolds.
With no one to witness, she smiles.
With no one, alone, she'll try.
--
Once again, I'm not sure where the fuck this came from. D: More angsty, with a hint of hopefulness teenage poetry. Written from the same vein as Sam[one of the poems in that obnoxiously long post of poetry I posted back in January]. Except I'd like to think this one is a little more internal conflict-y while the other was more of a narrative.
Update on Rhiannon's life: SPRING BREAK IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME.
There's a girl inside
A dirty cage, she sighs.
She's a lonely one.
Her past can't be undone.
With no one to witness, she cries.
With no one, alone, she'll die.
Broken spirit of another starlet torn.
Broken hearted for this moment she has longed
For the spirit of another so she can leave.
Here, the broken are screaming to be set free.
Won't you please save me?
Lies of treasures never known.
The aching and the breaking
Until you have nothing more.
A promise of acceptance
How do they know that's
All you want?
There's a girl inside
A dirty world. She writes
Of the hope she still holds
As her future slowly unfolds.
With no one to witness, she smiles.
With no one, alone, she'll try.
--
Once again, I'm not sure where the fuck this came from. D: More angsty, with a hint of hopefulness teenage poetry. Written from the same vein as Sam[one of the poems in that obnoxiously long post of poetry I posted back in January]. Except I'd like to think this one is a little more internal conflict-y while the other was more of a narrative.
Update on Rhiannon's life: SPRING BREAK IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME.
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