Random Poetry Written While I Should've Been Taking Algebra Notes

Today

You asked me if I missed you
I said, "I do.
But not as much
As I miss your truck."
But just my luck.
For that smart remark to cost me
Getting you back.

Feed Me

Rumbling, grumbling,
Pleading - "Please feed me!"
The stomach begins to growl
Its acid is churning,
Burning away its walls.
It screams and cries
"I'm going to die!
If you don't get some food
Down here some time soon!"
And who would believe
Underneath such a beautiful figure
Lives the saddest little stomach?
So, please feed the models.

[I was so hungry when I wrote that. XD]

Ghost

In my room, there's a ghost
He isn't that scary, but he still bugs me.
Cold, lifeless, without a form,
Floating and judging my every move.

I say "Go away, Mr. Ghost.
Everybody else has gotten on with their lives.
I don't need your haunting reminding me
Of who I used to be."

But the Ghost says nothing.
He just stays in the same place
Coldly reminding me of you
In my room.

Of Freedom and Blankets

I have blankets that smother
And swallow me up, softly,
Killing me inside.

I'd rather you not hold me.
Your strong arms will crush
The air out of my lungs.

But don't get me wrong, I do love you.
I just need my space.

Come Home! (I Miss You)

Like a helpless housewife,
I stay up to all hours of the night,
Waiting for you to come home,
Hoping you'll be alright.

Though I know you don't care,
I'll still wait here,
Hoping you will come home
Before the break of day.

You never do.

--

I had Oh, Avalanche by Gregory and The Hawk stuck in my head while writing these so they probably have an odd beat to them.

On a related note, I'm still hungry and have No idea what we're going over in Algebra.

I Live To Let You Shine

"but you can skyrocket away from me
and never come back if you find another galaxy
far from here with more room to fly
just leave me your stardust to remember you by"
-"Boats and Birds" by Gregory and The Hawk

The Locket
I was under pressure, when I heard his lies.
I was head-heels deep, when we said goodbye.
Never breathed a word, locked it all away,
Vowed I'd take my locket to the grave.
And in the dark I left my locket rust.
Swore to God never again would I trust
The lies of men as they lie next to me
Begged the world to let me go free.

I was spinning out, needed something new.
I was losing hope, when I first met you.
Nearly lost my mind, talked the night away
Dusted off my locket, thought I'd never say.
Hard as I tried, I couldn't get it opened.
The words inside, felt like an explosion
Of hurt and pain, the feelings flowing out.
So I hid myself among my fear and self-doubt.

But you saw through it,
Tore the locket from my hands.
I screamed and cried,
But you wouldn't give it back.
You pulled and tugged,
Wouldn't stop until it broke.
The light poured out,
And you embraced the exposed.

--

Fuck.

I wish I were better at writing these. I hate how bad I am at getting the words out. I really need to find a better way to express myself.

Last night I really realized how I felt about something. I'm probably not going to talk about it on here or even write bad poetry about it. It's not a big deal. Let's just say that I might not have gotten what I wanted out of it, but instead, I got something priceless. For that, I'm very grateful. :3 And really I don't have any room to whine, recently my life has been going rather easy.

On a similar note, I also let go of something I've been holding onto for a very long time. It was unhealthy. I'd been misplacing the blame for a very long time, when really all that matters is that it happened and that I need to move on because everyone else has.

Note: the title/lyrics at the beginning have nothing to do with the poem. I just really love that song. A Wish is also an amazing song by them.

Music You Should Check Out:
-Gregory and the Hawk [band]
-The Hazards of Love [album] by The Decemberists
-Tegan and Sara [band]
-The Mario Kart Love Song. :3
-My Brightest Diamond [band]
-Eisley [band]
-The Dolly Song by Holly Dolly. XD

Where The Hell is This Coming From?

In The Isolation Chamber
There's a girl inside
A dirty cage, she sighs.
She's a lonely one.
Her past can't be undone.
With no one to witness, she cries.
With no one, alone, she'll die.

Broken spirit of another starlet torn.
Broken hearted for this moment she has longed
For the spirit of another so she can leave.
Here, the broken are screaming to be set free.
Won't you please save me?

Lies of treasures never known.
The aching and the breaking
Until you have nothing more.
A promise of acceptance
How do they know that's
All you want?

There's a girl inside
A dirty world. She writes
Of the hope she still holds
As her future slowly unfolds.
With no one to witness, she smiles.
With no one, alone, she'll try.

--

Once again, I'm not sure where the fuck this came from. D: More angsty, with a hint of hopefulness teenage poetry. Written from the same vein as Sam[one of the poems in that obnoxiously long post of poetry I posted back in January]. Except I'd like to think this one is a little more internal conflict-y while the other was more of a narrative.

Update on Rhiannon's life: SPRING BREAK IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME.

Today I Hate Myself

A Fairy Tale Ending
A princess in a castle,
Waiting for a knight to save her.
An impatient distressed damsel,
She had won my farm boy's favor.

He felt he had no chance
So I helped him reach the tower's top.
Now I watch the wedding dance,
And plead this cruel world to stop.

--

Ignore the absolute crappiness of this poem. I was watching Princess Bride and being a mopey child.

Suck

That Morning

Sometimes I wonder if when you woke up that morning, you hit snooze on your clock like you always did or if you for once woke up exactly when you should have. I wonder if you showered in that morning like you always did or if you had showered previously that night. I wonder if you had to change your clothes several times to get that perfect combination or if you just threw something on. I wonder if you ate for breakfast. Was it your usual cereal bar and cup of coffee or did you sit down for a bowl of cereal or pancakes? Did you brush your teeth for the full three minutes or did you brushed your hair longer than usual? When you looked in the mirror, did you realize how great you looked? Did you realize you always looked great? Did you check your phone and see my message? Did try to text back your best friend and the message just didn't get through to my phone or was it still too awkward for you to even communicate with me?

Sometimes I wonder exactly what time you walked out your front door, and if you told your mother you loved her before leaving. I wonder if your older brother teased you as you were leaving or if he'd already left. Did your old piece of junk car stalled and you had to try a couple times before it would start running. Did you wave to that woman who always runs around your neighborhood in the morning. Was your mind thinking deeply on a certain subject, or were you mindlessly singing along to the song on the radio? What was playing on the radio? Was it your usual station, or was that song you could never stand playing and you had to change it to a different station? Or were you listening to a CD? Did that song remind you of anyone? Were certain words burnt in your brain?

Sometimes I wonder if some jerk cut you off, and if you swore a string of obscenities under your breath. I wonder if you sped to school cause you were running late or if you just didn't care because there were more important things on your mind. Did you even know what time it was or was the clock in your car a couple minutes slow? Did you catch all the red lights or ease through all the green lights? Did you wait impatiently at that one red light, or did you take your time before hitting the gas again? Did you see that truck coming or did it hit you before you even knew what was happening? How bad did it hurt? I hope to God that you didn't feel a thing. I like to tell myself that you snapped your neck on impact, but I know that wasn't your fate.

Sometimes I wonder what your last thought was about and if you knew you were going to die. I wonder if you thought about all the things if you had to live for and all the things you wish you'd never did. Did I cross your mind at all? Did you know how much I would miss you? Did you know how much I'd cry at your funeral and for the entire two months afterwards, and how many nights I would sit up wondering about every single thing happened to you? Could you have ever known how much I wish just one little part of those things on that morning had gone different? Because if it had, you'd still be on this Earth, even if you weren't with me.

---

I came up with the idea for this in Driver's Ed.

I'm kinda going through a breakdown. My mind hurts and I'm going back into that phase where I just absolutely hate everything about myself and I can't see myself ever having a happy future.