So I'm in my room right now, eating Cool Ranch Doritos, drawing, and listening to the Talking Heads' album "Stop Making Sense". So out of frustration with my momentary lack of artistic skills, I get on myspace and decide I need to change my status. Then when it asks me what mood I'm in, I come to a blank.
And I realize that I'm perfectly happy. It's as if nothing in my life is wrong.
I know that's not true. My life right now is far from perfect. First off, I have a massive headache, and I feel like I might be sick. There's other stuff, too. Most of my close friends have boyfriends or other friends that they'd rather spend time with and I'm okay with that. I do have other friends. They're all at different schools, but when I am with them I have some pretty damn good fun. Still, it doesn't help the sting when I realize I'm starting to drift from all of my closest friends. Again. Not to mention I'm still failing Chemistry, and I'm probably going to end up not being able to bring it up before Finals. And I really don't want to do summer school or worse, repeat Chemistry.
Hell I'm not even eating the right flavor of Doritos. I like Nacho Cheese better.
But all of this isn't an issue. I'm happy in the purest form of the word. I guess it's just the feelings of euphoria from last night haven't worn off yet, but something in me doesn't want to stop smiling. I love it. And I love how, for once, this feeling is one-hundred percent me. It's not because I'm smitten by some guy or because somebody else made me happy. I'm just happy. It's as if there really isn't any problems.
I'm positive if I were a drawing, I'd be smiling like this: ^w^
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1 comment:
You're so cute.
I want to pinch your cheeks and give you a cupcake.
I know you're feeling kind of out of place right now, but just remember that its not as bad as it feels. It always feels ten times worse when its you, but from the outside, you look like you're just fine.
xo
Helen
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