Back in Eden

Remember the garden by the brook
And every step we took
Kept us young and strong
Things couldn't stop us then

Remember the promise you made
When in the grass we laid
We were young and in love
Things were different then.

Remember the secrets I never told
Now the water is cold
The flowers are gone
And we can't go back to then

The Weather Inside is Frightful

"Santa you bitch, didn't get a damn thing from my Christmas list.
All I got was this broken heart, and that's it.
Santa you bitch, oh, there's only one thing that I truly wish
I wish my old girl would have never kissed St. Nick."
-"Santa Stole My Girlfriend" by The Maine

I love that song. I've currently got it playing on repeat. It warms me, and seeing as it's so cold outside, I'm a big fan of warm things. That's gotta be my favorite thing about Christmas time. It gives me this warm and fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I love wearing large winter coats and scarves and beanies just to stay warm and how my toes are never not freezing. Cause I don't like hot weather, I like being warm in cold weather. It's comforting. Unlike this poem.

Warmth

Frozen feet clicking down that sidewalk.
Freezing to death, but she wishes to talk.
Her fingers iced like the grays of his eyes
He's so cold but he's so warm.

Back and forth, she keeps forgetting to breathe
Pacing, she knows she really should just leave
Breath like condensation on the window of a car
He's so cold but he's so warm

"Make me love you," she wants to scream
"I'm all alone outside this fantastic dream."
She hates him, that bitter internal storm
She's so cold, but she's so warm.

Backslide

Warm socks on freezing feet.
Trying not to think about a tree.
With roots rooted so deep
In the ground, strangling me.

His eyes like ice
Gray the color of his heart
With teeth he bites
Flesh with words so harsh

Dear God, if you can hear me,
Make the screaming stop.
Dear God, if you are real,
Is this all you've got?
Make the screaming stop.

Once In A Lifetime

So I'm in my room right now, eating Cool Ranch Doritos, drawing, and listening to the Talking Heads' album "Stop Making Sense". So out of frustration with my momentary lack of artistic skills, I get on myspace and decide I need to change my status. Then when it asks me what mood I'm in, I come to a blank.

And I realize that I'm perfectly happy. It's as if nothing in my life is wrong.

I know that's not true. My life right now is far from perfect. First off, I have a massive headache, and I feel like I might be sick. There's other stuff, too. Most of my close friends have boyfriends or other friends that they'd rather spend time with and I'm okay with that. I do have other friends. They're all at different schools, but when I am with them I have some pretty damn good fun. Still, it doesn't help the sting when I realize I'm starting to drift from all of my closest friends. Again. Not to mention I'm still failing Chemistry, and I'm probably going to end up not being able to bring it up before Finals. And I really don't want to do summer school or worse, repeat Chemistry.

Hell I'm not even eating the right flavor of Doritos. I like Nacho Cheese better.

But all of this isn't an issue. I'm happy in the purest form of the word. I guess it's just the feelings of euphoria from last night haven't worn off yet, but something in me doesn't want to stop smiling. I love it. And I love how, for once, this feeling is one-hundred percent me. It's not because I'm smitten by some guy or because somebody else made me happy. I'm just happy. It's as if there really isn't any problems.

I'm positive if I were a drawing, I'd be smiling like this: ^w^